Memory
by spero spiro
Summary: Kenshin isn't necessarily pleased with the status quo between he and Kaoru, but he'll take what he can get, until Kaoru decides that she isn't necessarily pleased with it either.


**Memory**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it! Please don't sue me! I don't own anything but my little plot thingies! **

**Note: This story has been edited… like so many others I've done in the past, looked at, and realized they needed to be revamped. So… here's the new version of it… Same basis, same essential story… New changes that I've made, especially in the ending and last couple changes… I was pretty discontent with how it turned out, so I decided to re-do the end, and I like this much more.**

**Description: Kenshin and Kaoru reflect on their experiences together and feelings for one another while participating in the most familiar of their daily activities together. KK- One-shot **

Kenshin reached out, carefully poking the fire with a long stick. He was careful not to look up, knowing that Kaoru was only then immersing herself in the water of her bath. He had no intention of having another one of those buckets thrown at him, followed closely by a long stream of curses and insults.

There was the sound of displaced water, and Kenshin stopped. For some reason, he didn't feel quite as right about this daily ritual. He calmed himself, reminding himself of the distinct impression he had that Kaoru was not going to be in the mood for their daily chat while she bathed. "Is it warm enough?" He asked quietly enough for her to hear.

"Yes." The answer was definite. Final. There would be no discussion of sorts that night.

Kenshin's sigh was barely audible as he took care of the flame. He always looked forward to these moments of the day, where it was usually just him and Kaoru talking about whatever bothered either one of them that day. He knew people talked about them and this strange tradition of theirs. And he didn't blame them for it, seeing as how he had been preparing baths for Kaoru since the day he arrived at the dojo. He didn't deny that the flush that burned at his face was from the memory of the particular lapse in judgment he'd had that day.

_I should just not come when she screams in the bath._ He thought, shaking his head. Of course, there was that time when she'd seen him... But that had also been his mistake. The red of his face deepened at the memory of one of his far more stupid moments.

It hadn't been the only one. He knew he was torturing himself everyday by not refusing the chore, but he wouldn't have traded those cherished moments alone with Kaoru for anything. Any amount of time with her was enough to satisfy him.

He jumped back to reality as he realized that the sharp pain in his hand was from a stray flame. "Ow..." He muttered, sucking softly on the burn.

_That's what you get._ His mind chided him none too gently, and Kenshin hated the part of his mind that told him the truth.

(o)

Kaoru sunk down into the waters, all too aware of her modest, red-haired swordsman on the other side of the flimsy wall. She blushed, knowing that they were so close.

"Is it warm enough?" His voice was sweet to hear, but her mind was too preoccupied with other thoughts of him to have their usual conversations.

"Yes." She was cold, and she knew it, but she wanted to avoid turning any redder in the hot water. She lifted her hands from the water and removed the towel from her head, setting it aside to dip her head under the water. Her raven-black hair floated like seaweed in the waters as she gently washed herself.

She almost felt sorry for the things she had thrown at him all those times that he had come rushing to her rescue, only to find himself in far more peril than she usually was.

A soft cry of pain met her ears gently, and she realized that Kenshin had hurt himself somehow. She ignored her concern for him, knowing that if it were serious, he would not have made a noise. But she couldn't help but take a swift peek out the window, looking down at her swordsman with fond eyes. He sucked on a finger, looking pained and frustrated.

Quite a change from the smiles he usually offered her without end.

She sat back, looking down into the water. "Kenshin?" She called softly.

"Yes?" His voice was level and soothing, though she detected a note of hope.

"I..." She paused, and then sighed internally. "Do you mind making the water a bit hotter?"

She had meant to ask him if he was okay, maybe start the conversation that they usually had, but she looked away in shame. It didn't feel right to be talking to him when she was afraid she might say something she didn't want to reveal. It was awfully difficult to love someone who didn't respond to her affections, she thought.

_Or maybe he just doesn't notice them._ She thought, with a mild tint of hope.

His answer had been immediate, if not slightly disappointed. "Of course."

She hated to disappoint him, and apologized to him in her mind, but she was so afraid that she might say something that would frighten him. She sighed audibly and sunk lower into the water.

(o)

Kenshin poked the fire, feeling it grow hotter on his face. _There's always tomorrow..._ He thought hopefully of conversation. He smiled and realized that he had not had such problems with Tomoe. But, Tomoe had been so different from the girl on the other side of the wall. Where Tomoe had been dark, full of despair and sadness, matured and quiet, Kaoru was exactly the reverse.

Her youth was untainted and pure, so she remained bright and joyful. She always seemed to have a smile ready for someone who really needed it, and she had an open heart, ready to accept anyone. He was far past trying to deny the warmth he felt in his heart every time he was with her, knowing well that it was love. But something was holding him back from saying anything to her about it.

He had done it all before, so why was it so hard to say now?

His mind mumbled sardonically. Because _she's pure. Because you know what you are. _

Kenshin growled, deep in his throat. He hated when he ended up arguing with himself, knowing that both sides of him were right, and it was doing nothing to solve his problems. There was silence on the other side of the wall.

"Kenshin? Are you alright?"

Damn. She'd heard that.

"A…ah, yes, Kaoru-dono. I'm fine." He felt like banging his head against the wall for being so openly frustrated with anything.

He heard the cascade of water as she stood up and a moment later, the door to the bathhouse opened and Kaoru stood in her yukata, watching him.

He flashed a smile to her and stood up. "Are you done, Kaoru-dono?"

She watched him wordlessly for a moment, and then smiled back warmly. "I don't know... I came to see if you were alright."

"Oh... well... I'm fine, Kaoru-dono." What was wrong with him? Had ten years of wandering really eroded his bravery with situations like the one with Kaoru?

_Coward_. A voice deep within him scolded. _If you were half the man you were ten years ago, you wouldn't have to worry about awkward moments like these. She would already know how you know you feel, and you might even be happy with her. _Kenshin mentally buried his face into his hands. He didn't feel like he needed another side of himself arguing over this.

"Kenshin?" Her voice was soft, and not to mention next to his ear. He jumped and looked at her wide-eyed.

"Y-yes?" He hadn't seen her move toward him. There was nowhere to go, and he looked around wildly, knowing that it was useless. No one was at the dojo; not even Yahiko.

"Really... what's wrong with you? I know we didn't talk today... and I'm sorry... but you seem... agitated." She stood next to him, hand resting on his arm like the whisper of a shadow.

_I don't know really. I just get dizzy every time I see or hear you. I get butterflies in my stomach when anything about you comes to mind. I dream about you, and when I'm not sleeping, I daydream about you. I don't ever mind doing your laundry, and I'd like to take you for walks to see the sun set, and pick flowers for you, even though I'm a man. I don't mind eating your_ _cooking, and I don't mind cooking for you. What do you think? Should I see Megumi? _Kenshin had never heard himself think such sarcastically honest thoughts.

"I'm fine... I just burned myself, Kaoru-dono," He held out his hand for her to see, eyes widening when she reached out and lowered her beautiful head to kiss the mark. "I... I..." He stuttered, too shocked to pull his hand back.

She straightened. "I'm sorry." She whispered, pulling away from him, a blush creeping over her face.

He stood next to the fire, which was fading without his careful care, watching her as she stepped back into the bathhouse, his eyes still wide. _What was that?_

Kaoru sunk lower into her water. _What's wrong with me!_ She screamed at herself, knowing that she had done forward things to Kenshin before... but nothing so blatantly loving. She exhaled, blowing bubbles in the water. Something so simple and yet... it felt as though she had broken some kind of taboo. "Kenshin?" She called out.

"Yes, Kaoru-dono?" He sounded as though he was stoking the fire.

"I'm sorry."

There was a pause, in which she held her breath. Then, "Don't be, Kaoru- dono."

She breathed again. "Then can I ask you a favor?"

Kenshin smiled to himself. "Of course, Kaoru-dono. Anything."

"Please don't call me '-dono'." This wasn't a new conversation. She knew he'd refuse. Honor and whatnot.

"But my honor doesn't allow it, Kaoru-dono." The response was almost automatic, and Kenshin could have smacked himself for it. Sooner or later, she was going to tell him to stop… as it seemed, it was much sooner than he'd thought.

"Kenshin!" Her cry was almost angry, and almost hurt. He winced at it. He hated to hurt her, and he'd already done that many times before. Kaoru calmed her erratic breath and continued more calmly. "You've known me for a year and a half now. You're closer than family, and I'm not going to like it very much if you keep treating me like I'm your landlady."

"You are my landlady, Kaoru-dono..." Kenshin found himself wanting to cut his wrists for these words, and wondered if she those last words, indicated that she might have the same dizzying feelings for him that he had for her.

There was silence and Kaoru felt horrible inside. Did that mean that Kenshin really didn't feel anything for her?

_No, silly_. Her mind said soothingly. _If he didn't care for you, then he wouldn't have come to your rescue all those times._

There was nothing from outside, and Kaoru had the feeling that Kenshin had left. She sighed and sank even further into the water so that it covered her ears, but not so much that she didn't hear the quiet rapping on the door. She sat up, pulling her head out of the water. "Kenshin?"

There was a soft "Yes?" from the other side of the door, which she knew well he wouldn't open.

"Are you okay?" She pulled herself out of the water, pulled on her yukata, and sat on the other side of the door. "Kenshin?"

"Y-yes, I am," He murmured, able to tell that she's moved to the door. "I… wanted to know if you really wanted me to call you Kaoru."

"Of course I do!" She cried in exasperation, touching her hand to the wooden door. She'd have liked to open it, but it wouldn't be right, and she'd never get anywhere with Kenshin, as he'd just scuttle out and she'd not get another chance to talk to him.

"Alright then… K-Kaoru." He had been so used to adding the honorific that her name alone, while lovely to speak by itself, didn't sound quite right without the added two syllables.

"Thank you." She sounded as though she were releasing a breath held for a long time. They were silent for another few moments, but neither moved. Finally, "Kenshin?"

"Yes?" He was relieved to hear her say something.

"I don't really want you to leave here again."

He blinked, staring blankly at the door separating them. "I… I appreciate it… I would like to, so long as you'll allow me to stay."

Kaoru stared at the door, as though trying to see the red-head with his back pressed to the door, staring idly at the ceiling and answering her statements. "And I don't care if people think it's not proper, either."

He was quiet, trying to sort through his own feelings and thoughts. He was sure he loved Kaoru. He was sure he'd like to stay… He wasn't quite so sure he wanted to risk her honor. "Kaoru…" He breathed.

"I don't care, Kenshin!" She cried. "I really care about you, and your wellbeing, and I don't want you running off all over Japan, and maybe getting sick, and not having a place to stay, or money or…" Kaoru trailed off, realizing how motherly she sounded. But Kenshin had probably never felt that kind of love in his life… the idea made her sad. She had at least known her mother for a few brief years in her childhood… Kenshin probably didn't remember much of his parents. Finally, she could almost hear him smile on the other side of the door.

"Thank you, Kaoru." He felt better knowing she cared enough for him to look out for his health and life… Anything more…

They both smiled, looking toward the wooden door between them, toward the one on the other side.

_That will just take a little bit of time…_


End file.
